Bite!
by KeitaPekoe
Summary: Kisame is left to babysit and decides to teach Mariko a "useful" new skill.


**This is just a really quick oneshot that I did while I was bored at work one day. It features my OC Mariko and if you haven't read my story "The Sum of Black and White" yet, then it's probably a good idea, just so that you can get the full picture of her. **

**I think that this oneshot is cute, but I wanna know what you think, so R&R!! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Itachi or Kisame, but I can claim Mariko (yay!)**

**Enjoy! **

**-Keita**

"No Mariko, you do it like this: Grrr!" Kisame growled while showing off his sharp teeth in a vicious snarl.

Mariko - the one-year-old daughter of Uchiha Itachi, who lived with her father and the Akatsuki in their hideout – giggled at the shark-man's face.

Leader had sent Itachi out on some business, and Kisame had offered to look after Mariko until he returned. Itachi had been thankful that his teammate was there; he still didn't completely trust most of the Akatsuki members with his daughter.

Mariko had been flipping through a book about animal predators and, after seeing so many fangs and teeth and biting going on, she decided to try her hand at predation…on her teddy bear.

She had forcefully grabbed her bear and began tearing at it with the few teeth she had, making small grunting noises.

Kisame had noticed her attacking her teddy and had seen that she wasn't the most skilled predator, so he had taken it upon himself to teach her how to use nothing more than her teeth as a weapon. After all, he was the only shark…man…thing…whatever, in the Akatsuki; it was his duty to make sure that the child was well-educated in this sensitive field!

His first order of business was to teach Mariko how to sound fearsome by growling.

The silver-eyed baby had merely laughed at first, not realizing that Kisame was actually trying to teach her something; she just thought that he was being funny.

Finally, though, she caught on. At first, her "growls" were more like little squeaks, but with encouragement and further demonstration from her "sensei", Mariko caught on and was snarling like a little wildcat in no time.

Next, Kisame decided to teach her the art of biting. This was a bit trickier, because Mariko kept getting distracted and trying to wander off, and she would use her new skill and growl at Kisame when he chased her down and carried her back to where they were practicing.

The shark-man gently demonstrated the "chomp-and-tear" method on Mariko's teddy bear.

"See? You chomp," – he clamped his teeth on the bear's arm – "and tear." He tilted his head slightly so that the little girl could get the drift of what he meant but without destroying the teddy.

Mariko watched with a semi-dumbfounded expression, but then seemed to get it. She grabbed the bear away from Kisame and stared at it intently for a few seconds; Kisame held his breath hopefully. Finally, the girl narrowed her silver eyes and growled at the emotionless stuffed toy. Kisame sighed in defeat.

"Alright, have it your way. If you just wanna growl at it, go ahead. If you feel like brutally mauling it, have at it."

Mariko paused to listen to her blue "uncle" and watched as he returned to his seat. Her silver eyes flickered back and forth between him and the teddy bear that was clutched in her small hands. Suddenly, she opened her mouth and latched her teeth onto the bear's arm.

Kisame looked up when he heard her muffled growling and the sound of her struggling with something, only to see Mariko on her back, using her hands and feet to push the bear's body away from her while using her baby teeth to hold tightly to its arm.

There was a loud _RIIIIIIIIPPP!!_ and Mariko sat up with the bear's disembodied arm still in her mouth, while the rest of it had been flung a little ways off. The baby looked a little shocked, but proud of herself.

Kisame looked in open-mouthed shock from the armless bear to the little girl with the stuffed animal's limb in her teeth, the stuffing starting to fall out. Suddenly, his eyes shone with pride as he stooped down to the baby's level.

"That was PERFECT!!" He said. "Do it again!" He retrieved the bear and handed it back to her.

Mariko looked at him in slight confusion as she spat the sopping wet bear arm out; it landed with a splat on the floor.

"Go ahead; bite!" the shark-man instructed.

Mariko cocked her head to one side, her silver eyes questioning.

"Um…okay, let's see…what did I last say to you?" he wondered out loud. "Growl?" he thought for a second, "No…brutally maul…"

Recognition flashed in Mariko's pale eyes and she bit down on the bear again, this time assaulting its ear.

Kisame's face lit up again as he watched the black-haired baby tearing at the defenseless stuffed animal as though she was intending to rip it into pieces. He couldn't help clapping his hands in excitement as the stars in his eyes shone.

"What's going on?"

Kisame turned to see his teammate walking through the door, apparently back from his errand. Itachi's eyes were on his daughter as he spoke to the shark-man. "What the hell is she doing?"

The pride and excitement in the blue man's voice couldn't be contained as he replied, "All I said was 'brutally maul' and she knew exactly what to do! She's soooo smart!"

Itachi couldn't take his eyes off of Mariko as she went to town tearing at the bear's ear, swinging her head from side to side like a dog with a rope toy, growling the entire time. His only thought was, _Oh. My. God. What __has__ he done to my daughter?_


End file.
